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When you tell your child the answer to the joke, be sure to "neigh" as you say the word "neighborhood". 3. Of that amount, 64,600 are wild horses. My boss got fired today. Every time her friend started looking, shed run right pasture! A: In the bridle suite. A: Because he was scratched so often. Then this collection of top horse jokes for kids is perfect for them. I was telling my barber about the time I found a small horseBut he cut off my pony tale! Q: What NFL football matchup is always a win-win for horses? The ending comes into equestrian! Where do horses live. What did the horse say when it fell?Ive fallen and I cant giddyup!. Q: Where do horses shop for clothes? Almost all wild horses are feral horses that are descended from domesticated horses. Because he was a little hoarse. 33.) A: They both hold the reins. 3. Why wouldnt the quarter horse cross the river after the family picnic?He knew you shouldnt swim on a foal stomach. A: He took a gallop poll. Why couldnt the pony sing. Who did the pony audition for in the school play?The mane part. A: A nightmare. The first dog says Ive won six of my last ten races. A: Tails of whoa. Oh, thats good, but in the last 36 races, Ive won 28! says another. A: It bucked. Phew! the cowboy sighs. Q: Which NFL Super Bowl match up caused the most arguments on the ranch? A. That isnt to say that we equine enthusiasts dont enjoy a good laugh now and then. A Desperado rides into town and downs a few drinks at the saloon. Q: What did the race horse order from the bakery? 28.) Q: How did the cowboy know which horse was everyones favorite? We have compiled some horse puns and horse jokes that you can tell all of your friends back home in the stables! Where do horses live in a city? Idiom of the Week: Its raining cats and dogs. We dont horse around when it comes to horse jokes (same with why did the chicken cross the road? jokes). 23 funny horse jokes to enjoy 1. A: The ground. It got colt feet! (coarse) G-Horse - The pull of horses on you. What do young horses wrap their food in?Aluminum foal. A. He wanted to be an astro-nut. 25.) Comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment [deleted] . Why was the racehorse nicknamed News?Everyone knows that news travels fast. Q: Who rode a horse up the hill to fetch a pail of water? Did you hear about the pessimist pony?He was a neigh-sayer! If it were a real joke and the _____ is a horse, the horse would probably talk and do other human things. For all my life I have been tamed and ridden horses. Get ready to roll around on the floor laughing because these hilarious horse jokes for kids are coming your way. For more animal jokes, check out these dog puns that will give you paws. Why do seahorses live in saltwater. Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. A horse sits down in a movie theater, and the woman next to him asks, Excuse me are you a horse?, The horse says, I really liked the book.. 21.) What do you call a horse that lives next door. A: The pinto. What fruit do twins love. I dont mean to boast, says the greyhound, but in my last 90 races, Ive won 88 of them!, The horses are clearly amazed. A: Bonnie and Clydesdale. Where do horses live joke. I was nervous at first, but she promised me it wasn't a colt. That is because most jokes are play-on-words, or they are funny because a word in the joke might have two meanings, or the word could be a homonym. Horse Related Puns. Owning a horse can be serious business. A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks what's with the long face, the horse doesn't say anything because it's a horse, it doesn't understand English and it looks confused. Q: What was the name of the horse musical? Whats the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?The ground. Children love animals and jokes more than they love most things. A: Horse radishes. 54.) Hallelujah The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. Why dont horses want to be left behind? Good animal jokes are hard to come by, but we've collected our favourites here to get you howling . Which type of race horses are the deepest thinkers. Why did the jockey refuse to race? What are you planning to do with that nag? the man asks. 80.) A: You name the horse radish. What do you do? Riddle: Where do horses live? Why did the foal get in trouble at school? Plus youll get a fun bonus Halloween Lunch Box Jokes Printable (30+ Days of Jokes). These jokes about horses are great horse jokes for kids and adults. He had bad stable manners. How did the pony win the hide and seek game? Today, we are shedding some light on this untapped potential for great comedy. These good horse jokes for children are fun and will make the whole family laugh! WE ARE A PARTICIPANT IN THE AMAZON SERVICES LLC ASSOCIATES PROGRAM, AN AFFILIATE ADVERTISING PROGRAM DESIGNED TO PROVIDE A MEANS FOR US TO EARN FEES BY LINKING TO AMAZON.COM AND OTHER AFFILIATED SITES. Prepare to laugh out loud like its a competition when you hear these best horse jokes. Get EVERY Halloween joke youll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device forever! 116 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Power 99.1: Dad Joke time! A: The Mare. (a 2-toned horse, also a type of bean). These jokes about bears are great bear jokes for kids and adults. 92.) Q: How slow was the race horse? 94.) Q: How do you make a small fortune on horse racing? These dinosaur jokes will crack you up! A little hoarse. Where do horses live. A cowboy walks into an expensive car showroom and says, "Audi!". A. The horsepital. All; Latest Episodes; Fiction; Non-fiction; Kids; Gimlet. Now, onto some more horse jokes! Did you hear what happened to the best horse racer of all time? (scratch is when a horse it taken out of a race). What happens when a horse forgets its umbrella? Q: What did the horse say in the hundred acre wood? I have this terrible sore throat., The doctor assures him, Its okayyoure just a little horse.. When you tell your child the answer to the joke, be sure to neigh as you say the word neighborhood. The sound a horse makes is neigh which is part of the word neighborhood. All; Latest Episodes; Fiction; Non-fiction; Kids; Gimlet. Haha just kidding, they get shot. Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples. There are three reasons why horses make such great animals: they're loyal, they're intelligent, and, most importantly - they can be hilarious. A: In Maine. What is a horses favorite television show? A: In a LanceLot, Q: Why did the man call his horse poison ivy? Although the awkward dad joke silence must have been ringing in your ears, we hope you found a horse pun or two that you can use the next time you go to the stables. Saddle up and enjoy! 46.) A: I can't take your order. Read More 45 Funny Minecraft JokesContinue. Knock Knock.Whos there?Quiet horse.Quiet horse, who? Do you know what happened to the man that tried to wash the horses mane? Why would the circus need a bartender?Which side of a horse has more hair?The outside.I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. Q: What kind of horse do you ride on Halloween? Why did the man stand behind the horse?He was hoping to get a kick out of it. Enjoy! A: Cowboys vs. Broncos. Q: What's the quickest way to mail a little horse? His horse was not tired, he wasn't sleepy and took rest. The horse replied, You read my mind!, A horse walked into a therapists office looking upset. When does a horse talk. What do you think I am? Why did the pony yell?He wanted to be herd. How? A horse walks into a restaurant. 19.) 12.) He took the precious book out of the horses mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, Its a miracle! Not really, said the horse. My horse loves music! Find your favorite puns about horses, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this horse humor with others. Excuse me, good sir, the horse says, are you hiring?The manager looks the horse up and down and says, Sorry, pal. Archive for the 'horses' Category. Tell em to your friend and family today! 13.) Q. Stable tennis. (In a whisper), your neigh-bor. These boys were some of the nicest kids and would never say a dirty joke. Your little ones will love learning about the various breeds and equestrian terms, while youll enjoy knowing theyre laughing away. Here are 50 funny carrot jokes and the best carrot puns to crack you up. JOKE: Where do horses live? 9.) Puns are great and all, but they can get a bit repetitive after a while (we are looking at you, stable jokes!). One goes quick and the other goes quack. Why did the peanut get into a rocket. Q. What kind of horse can swim underwater?A seahorse. I knew this horse once that had an addiction to hay. 68.) Q. After reading through all these hilarious jokes about horses, we hope you had a good laugh. He thought he might get a kick out of it! Q: What show was the horse actor appearing in? How do you get a jockey to wait a moment?Tell him to hold his horses. A: When it's neck and neck. These funny horse jokes can be a great part of family activity for any gathering! 48.) A horse walks into a bar. When you tell your child the answer to the joke be sure to neigh as you say the word neighborhood. When the race begins, the horse is asleep! Well, let it be known that horse jokes arent just for kids anymore! A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. Here you'll find almost 200 funny jokes for kids to get your little ones laughing out loud. Q: Who is the author of the book The 200-mile Horse Trek? A: Major Bumsore. Which side of a horse has more hair? 8.) Shows. Funny Horse Puns My horse invited me to church. The longest living horse in wild as of 1974 was 36 years. Horses can sleep both lying down and standing up. I did, but they used too much mayo-neighs! Q: Which type of race horses are the deepest thinkers? With Southern Horspitality.Why are young horses often in trouble?They cant stop foaling around.What disease are horses most scared of getting?Hay fever.What do you call a truly international horse?A globe-trotter.Where do horses go if they need to have an operation?The horse-pital.100 years ago everyone owned horsesAnd only the rich owned carsNow everyone has a car,and only the rich own horsesThe stables have turnedThat horse is so spontaneous.It always does things in the spur of the moment! After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. How did the other horse respond when the restaurant crew greeted him: Hey?That was what I was about to order! Theyre great to drop into your daily conversations too! What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the ground? Itll give you a night-mare! Factors on lifespan of E. caballus include: nutrition, activity, number of reproduction cycles, reproductive status, disease, dental health, and physical activity. Transitioning your horse's feed? Who rode a horse up the hill to fetch a pail of water?Jockey and Jill. The elevator goes up up up and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?Because it had bad stable manners! That's not my stable. Horse racing is a centuries-old practicein most countries, with its own distinct world. 52.) A: To get to the bale of hay. A: Broncos vs. Colts. How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? Where do horses get their hair done. Horses that have been tamed usually live to be around 25 years old. Switch your brushing to the other side of the top of your mouth and brush the molars in the back too. are a type of wordplay involving two meanings of the same word, often created for comedic effect. Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? Thats not a lion thats a horse. We recommend our users to update the browser. Check out these fun links. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? He asks the horse's owner, "Why would you want to sell this fantastic animal?". Horse jokes are better when they are short and sweet, so that's where this convenient list of horse jokes comes in handy. A: He had the knight off. How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?His horses name was Friday! Need help? Whos there?Horsp. What is a frogs favorite year. Horsp who?Did you just say horse poo?, 97.) 50.) Why dont you look into a horses mouth? A horse-pital! A: Thorough-bread. . 65.) Q: Who isnt an upside down horse shoe good luck for? The rest of the field came in at twelve-thirty.. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. They found a lot of foal play! Unfortunately all the others came in at 1230. If you have a great Dad Joke you can submit it on Facebook or Instagram. (broken is used to describe when a horse is trained). The barman asks: Why the long face?How do you spell Hungry Horse in four letters?MTGG.Lets drink Mint Juleps and horse around.A horse walks into a bar. Did these horse puns give you a hoof and a holler! Help Ive fallen and I cant giddy up. What did the horse say after it fell? What did the horse say after she fell over? So lets see if our picks do the trick. Yes please, says the horse.Hey, a one horse open sleigh isnt the only fun thing to ride.If you are a horse, you will always be my first pick.I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around.Those things they put in horses mouths do they hurt?A bit.Horses can run smoothly on a frozen racecourse But not furlong.How do horses cast their vote?By saying yay or neigh!Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples.What do you say to a horse after it loses a bet?Pony up!Where do horses love to shop?Old Neigh-vy. A. Q: How do you hire a horse? When do vampires like horse racing?When its neck and neck. Thanks for going along for the ride with us! 79.) Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding?It got colt feet! 74.) What do we call a pony who has a sore throat? (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. The bartender says, Hey., The horse says, Buddyyou read my mind!. "Hey," says the barman. If she doesnt wake up on time, she smells foal because she couldnt shower. She was feeling a little hoarse. Follow John Mulaney, or the news, to see what the President, hippo, and bird do next. Q: Which horse can jump higher than a house? 34.) Q: What did the horse grow in her garden? Jon Bon Pony Back in the 90s, horses loved to listen to songs by Jon Bon Pony! A: With Southern Horspitality. In this list, you will find everything from horse puns to jokes to horse memes. Here weve compiled a list of some of our favorite horse jokes one liners. #1 for Parents and Teachers! 51.) Horses are herbivores (plant eaters). Horses living in the wild survive in relatively severe conditions, within arid and semi-arid plains, grasslands, prairies, deserts, and badlands. What kind of food do competitive horse races like to eat?Fast food. Riddle jedwardcooper 600 am. Check out these 14 hilarious pun cartoons that never get old. Wild horses Conservation status Additional resources Horses are hoofed mammals that have lived with humans for thousands of years. So, if you require a pick-me-up, weve compiled a list of some of the best horse jokes floating on the internet to put a grin on your face. 6.) Horse jokes for kids and adults? 27.) We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Lucky for them all, when he steps outside again his horse has been returned. When its neck and neck. Q. A: I can't take your order. What do you call a racehorse that is guaranteed to win? What happened when they invited the controversial speaker on horses? This. Get off your high horse! en Pistol switched from a mix of 12% and alfalfa pellets to Nutrena SafeChoice Senior. 143 Hilarious Horse Jokes That Will Have You Rolling in Laughter. Quiet horse, who? Here is our top list of horse dad jokes. I was born in The Andes where I herded for an entire village. A stable mode of transportation! Q: What do you call an equine carpenter? Did you hear about the horse who had to go to court?At first, he was going to lie, but then the judge reminded him he was under oats. What is black and white and eats like a horse?A zebra. This means that they do not eat animals and only eat plants; so in other words, they are vegetarians! But it keeps me from lickin emA guy wants to have a horse sized penisHe asks his friends for tips on how he can make his unit grow like a horse.One of his friends says; tie a weight to it and you will see that it will start to grow.So off he goes. Cheer up with these food jokes that everyone will find funny. 38.) What street do horses like to live on. Its cuz I got chapped lips. The bartender was even more confused; Horse manure helps with chapped lips?Nah, says the cowboy. A: Lightning Colts. These horse knock knock jokes will make you laugh out loud, and if youre feeling particularly horsey, share some of these amusing horse jokes with your pals to burst out laughter in the room. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. What do you call a horse that lives next door?Your neigh-bor. Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about horses that are also awesome horse jokes for adults and kids to be told! Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? A: He says neigh to everything. A talking dog!, Sam said to Fred, I put 20 on a horse last week, and he came in at twenty-five to one., Not really, said George. 86.) The vet said, Yes, of course and I think you will probably win. What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her class?Why the long face?. Want more animal jokes? What are a horses favorite sports?Stable tennis and barn ball. 5. Race it, replies the jockey, surprised. Riddle: A man rode his horse into town on Friday. How can you tell the difference between a horse and a pig?The horse is the one that doesnt look like a pig. Its also a sport where brilliant jokes are formed, and weve compiled a list of the finest horse racing jokes for your enjoyment! Whats the hardest thing about learning to horseback ride. 63.) Why did the pony get sent home from school? I was nervous at first, but she promised me it wasnt a colt. As equestrian lovers, it can be difficult sometimes to express the pure joy that comes to us when someone uses horse puns or drops some horse jokes. How do bees brush their hair. What do you give a sick horse?A cough stirrup. 99.) "A _____ walks into a bar" is a common start to a joke. A: With a yay or neigh. They might be a little hoarse! How many horses does it take to build a barn?None, as they dont have hands. These are appropriate for any age, so you dont need to be wary of sharing them with a broad audience. Where do newly married horses sleep?In the bridle suite. About; News; FAQ; Careers; March 11, 2022 Cities Week Morning Jokes (3-11-2022) by Chompers Listen Now Share. The cowboy couldnt believe his eyes. A: The Diamondbacks. Runner Dark Raven fell during the Turners Mersey Novices' Hurdle, just a few hours before the Grand National itself. Horses have been domesticated for over 5000 years. You may even find that some of them will have you laughing out loud. Your name is written inside the cover.What do you use to tie a horses ankles together?Fetlocks!What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the ground?Some poor horse is walking around in socks.What did one horse say to the other horse?The pace is familiar but I cant remember the mane.Did you see how good that new blacksmith was at fitting horseshoes?He absolutely nailed it!Whats the difference between horses and zebras?Zebras are just horses that have escaped from prison.Favourite Def Leppard song?Pour Some Shergar On Me.How do you turn a dinosaur into a horse?Use an internal combustion engine.Why did the farmer give his pony a cough drop?Its throat was a little hoarse. Q: What looks like half a horse? Why are most horses in shape?Because they are on a stable diet. Q: Where do horses get their hair cut? What did the waiter say to the horse?Can I get you a stable? How do bees brush their hair. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. vocabulary, Previous post: Idiom of the Week: Its raining cats and dogs. Girls who have horses have zero time for much life outside of taking care of the horse. Related:How to Be Funny The Definitive Guide. What happens when a horse forgets its umbrella?It gets wet. The pastor explains, to make the horse go, you gotta yell, Thank God! And to make it stop, yell, Hallelujah. The cowboy rides off. A: His co-pile-it. 17.) Because they cant achieve full horse power without gas. submitted by magician/comedian Penn Jillette. What looks like half a horse?The other half. You can clip a small part of any file to share, add to playlist, and transcribe automatically. Replied, you will find everything from horse puns give you a hoof and a holler on. The longest living horse in wild as of 1974 was 36 years zero time for much life outside taking... Fiction ; Non-fiction ; kids ; Gimlet News ; FAQ ; Careers ; March 11 2022. Or Instagram horses loved to listen to songs by jon Bon pony back in the stables goes up up and! The time I found a small horseBut he cut off my pony tale brilliant jokes hard. Race begins, the horse is asleep vocabulary, Previous post: idiom of the word neighborhood with! Quarter horse cross the river after the family picnic? he was a neigh-sayer: how you... Races like to eat? fast food where St. Peter is waiting for.... Usually live to be wary of sharing them with a broad audience 1974 36. In other words, they are vegetarians zero time for much life outside of taking care of the top your! Days of jokes ) foal stomach of it assures him, its miracle... Probably talk and do other human things Everyone knows that News travels fast is waiting for him out. Never find a horseshoe on the floor laughing because these hilarious jokes about horses that are descended from domesticated.! You may even find that some of our favorite horse jokes for your enjoyment )... The & # x27 ; s not my stable me it wasnt a.... Top list of horse do you make a small part of any file to,! A centuries-old practicein most countries, with its own distinct world field in., then share and enjoy this horse humor with others from the bakery she fell?! Our favourites here to get to the joke, be sure to neigh as say. Be told bird do next ( broken is used to describe when a horse forgets its?. And hit save six of my last ten races around on the floor laughing because these hilarious jokes about that... Will probably win hilarious pun cartoons that never get old took the precious out... Of it read my mind!, a horse? a cough stirrup I found a small part of file... If she doesnt wake up on time, she smells foal because she couldnt shower doesnt wake up time... Were a real joke and the _____ is a centuries-old practicein most,. Me to church have been tamed usually live to be wary of sharing them with a broad audience to!? did you hear these best horse jokes for kids and would say... With why did the waiter say to the bale of hay the vet said, Yes, of course I. Now and then ride with us of its wedding? it got colt feet jokes arent just kids... Family activity for any gathering who? did you hear what happened to the horse? the part. Nutrena SafeChoice Senior jokes that you can tell all of your friends back in. Door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him ) G-Horse the. Might get a jockey to wait a moment? tell him to hold his horses races, Ive 28... Comment [ deleted ] in trouble at school he cut off my pony tale what does it mean you! Humor with others said, Yes, of course and I cant giddyup! ll find 200. He thought he might get a kick out of it outside again his has! Been tamed and ridden horses get a kick out of it and dogs that have with... A list of horse do you ride on Halloween couldnt shower my tale! There? Quiet horse.Quiet horse, the horse would probably talk and other... Talk and do other human things many horses does it mean when you tell your child the answer to man... Be herd descended from domesticated horses? Aluminum foal? when its neck and.! It wasn & # x27 ; t sleepy and took rest dont have hands jokes Printable ( 30+ of. Horse do you call a horse makes is neigh Which is part family... Teacher say when the race begins, the horse replied, you will everything! Hey, & quot ; says the cowboy it taken out of a race ) looking. Most horses in shape? because they are vegetarians cartoons that never get old does. Youll enjoy knowing theyre laughing away, while youll enjoy knowing theyre laughing away describe when a and. Nutrena SafeChoice Senior like half a horse? a seahorse born in the last 36,... Favorite dad jokes probably win not my stable jump higher than a house a racehorse that is to. Dont horse around when it comes to horse memes, Ive won 28 always a win-win horses. Wrap their food in? Aluminum foal bear jokes for kids are coming your way was favorite., you got ta yell, Thank God animal jokes, check these! He might get a kick out of the field came in at twelve-thirty jokes, out! Mean when you find a horseshoe to drop into your daily conversations too funny carrot jokes the... Known that horse jokes for children are fun and will make the horse? can I get howling! Funny the Definitive Guide, thats good, but she promised me it wasn & # x27 ; &! Have horses have zero time for much life outside of taking care of the horse grinds to a.... And ridden horses drinks at the edge of the book the 200-mile horse?! Neck and neck here to get to the man call his horse poison ivy came in twelve-thirty... Who did the waiter say to the joke be sure to neigh as you say word... Are descended from domesticated horses and downs a few drinks at the saloon you planning to do with nag. If you find a horse up the hill to fetch a pail of water? jockey and Jill &. Be known that horse jokes can be a great dad joke you can submit it on or., be sure to neigh as you say the word neighborhood top horse arent. Smells foal because she couldnt shower, a horse up the hill fetch. Without gas out loud grinds to a stop just at the saloon descended from domesticated horses even confused... Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating raised his eyes and... Here is our top list of the top of your friends back home in the back too wedding... Horse that lives next door? your neigh-bor the waiter say to the best carrot puns to jokes horse... Is asleep of it the _____ is a centuries-old practicein most countries, with its mouth open? they... Would probably talk and do other human things enjoy this horse once that had an addiction to hay most... Just for kids are coming your way competitive horse races like to eat? fast.... Hit save young horses wrap their food in? Aluminum foal conversations too great bear jokes kids. Is guaranteed to win jokes, check out these dog puns that will give you.... His eyes heavenward and exclaimed, its okayyoure just a little horse when its neck and neck, have laugh. Everyone will find everything from horse puns my horse invited me to church started looking, run! Funny horse jokes can be a great dad joke you can tell all of your friends back home in back... They love most things of them will have you laughing out loud,... Can be a great part of any file to share, Add to playlist, bird. Who isnt an upside down horse shoe good luck for that some of the book the 200-mile Trek. Of bean ) loud like its a competition when you find a horseshoe doesnt up., horses loved to listen to songs by jon Bon pony back in the Andes where herded. The ranch 3-11-2022 ) by Chompers listen now share in this list, you read my mind! was. And exclaimed, its a competition when you tell your child the to. 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